Prepare your husband for birth? This probably sounds silly. Because YOU’RE the one giving birth. Not your husband. But ladies. He can help. He can’t actually push the baby out for you (unfortunately). But he can support you. In so many more ways than I even thought possible. Counterpressure, getting you water and snacks, encouraging you, fighting for you, etc. He can do all the little things so you can focus on the one big thing – baby.
However, you have to prepare him. If you don’t tell him what you want, how will he know? Maybe he’ll do the research on his own (emphasis on maybe). But even then he won’t know what YOU want for YOUR birth. I’ve listened to SO many birth stories, and often the husband wants to help, he just doesn’t know how. So I’m here to help you, help him. You push the baby out and let him do the rest. Here are my best tips for you to prepare your husband for birth.
1. Write Down What You Want
In order to help your husband help you, you need to know what you want. Are you a physical touch girl and want all the back rubs? Do you want him to bring you water every hour? Should he leave you alone and let you do your thing? Do you want him to encourage you to stay home and labor? Should he plan to do all the talking in the hospital? Do you want to be the boss? Whatever you want, write it down. And make copies. Have him read it over. Memorize it. Tattoo it on his arm. Just kidding (mostly).
Also, write down your birth plan! (Read my post here for everything you should include in your birth plan!) And have him learn that as well. This way he knows what you want and can be an advocate for you! Whether you’re at home or in the hospital. Your husband wants you to be happy! And if he knows how to make that happen, I’m sure he will. Set him up for success by telling him what you want.
2. Books
Books were my best friend during pregnancy. I read all the pregnancy books to prepare myself for birth. And I learned so much. They made me think about things I never would have thought about without them.
My husband wasn’t quite as passionate about birth books as I was (lol), but he still wanted to learn all the things! So as I read through books, I would highlight, bookmark, and leave little notes on the pages I wanted him to read! I basically made him the sparknotes version of all the books. This way, we were on the same page. And he avoided reading about things that didn’t apply to him. Here are some of my favorites books to prepare your husband for birth.
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutchean – This was my favorite read because it’s written to women who want a natural childbirth with no interventions (which is what I was going for). It teaches the Bradley Method, which “is a system of natural labor techniques in which a woman and her coach play an active part,” according to Bradleybirth.com (Bradleybirth). It gives very practical advice and action you and your husband can take to practice for natural labor and delivery.
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin – This book is helpful because it takes you through the entire labor process step by step. It discusses how mama might be feeling, what caregivers will be doing, and how doulas (and dads) can support. It also offers comforting techniques to practice beforehand.
Husband Coached Childbirth by Robert A. Bradley – Okay this book is clearly for husbands. It was harder to highlight because it just seemed like he needed to read the whole thing haha. So if you can get him on board with that, do it! It gives practical things you and your husband can practice together in preparation for labor and birth! This book is also from the Bradley Method perspective, which, if you’re going for a natural birth, is so helpful.
3. Podcasts
I was obsessed with podcasts while I was pregnant. Podcasts about pregnancy. Birth. Birth stories. It was my hobby. I told Nick when I learned something helpful, and occasionally would send him one to listen to. Here are a my favorites that I think will help prepare your husband for birth!
Pregnancy & Birth Made Easy with My Essential Birth – Stephanie does an amazing job of preparing mamas for birth. She interviews experts on all things pregnancy and birth, as well as mamas to hear their birth stories. It’s so encouraging to hear positive stories. Every story is so different so I felt like I learned something from each one! You can just pick some of your favorites and send those to your husband!
Ask the Doulas Podcast with Gold Coast Doulas – This is a group of Doulas in the Grand Rapids, MI area! They interview experts who answer all of your pregnancy, birthing, and postpartum questions. They’ve been at a lot of births, so I really value their thoughts! Same thing for this podcast, just send some of your favorites to your husband!
Built to Birth with Bridget Teyler – Bridget is actually on YouTube and is SO helpful! She talks all things pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. She believes your body is built to birth (I agree!) and offers practical advice and tips to prepare your body for birth. Her content is very holistic and natural minded. I would honestly recommend all of her episodes for mamas to be, and then just send your favorites to your husband! This episode specifically is a good overview for husbands!
4. Birth Class
A birth class is a must for you and your husband! In my humble opinion. I signed up for the class 90% for my husband and 10% for myself. Like I said, I had read all the books and listened to all the podcasts so I felt like I at least had an idea of what to expect.
While I passed along what I could to my husband, I had never actually had a baby. So it was nice for both of us to hear from someone who knew what they were talking about.
We took the Bradley Method Birth Course! It was amazing. The Bradley Method emphasizes husband support and involvement (which we love). So our coach went through all the steps of labor and birth and gave Nick tips on how to help me through each step. It was so practical. My husband felt very prepared after the course.
The course is 10 weeks! So if you want to do this you definitely have to think about it before you’re a month from your due date (which we did not). Thankfully one of the local Bradley Method coaches offered to do a crash course for us. It was honestly ideal because it was one on one with her and she was able to answer all of our questions. And we got everything done in 3 hours instead of 10 weeks haha. If you’re in the same boat as we were, definitely ask for the crash course!
5. Practice
Counter Pressure
Before birth Nick practiced giving me counter pressure! We learned how to do counter pressure during our birth class! So Nick practiced making sure he put his hands in the right spot and that he could do it efficiently and effectively. When active labor actually started, he was so ready. Unfortunately I wanted nothing to do with counterpressure. (I’m such a physical touch girl so this surprised me). But regardless, Nick was prepared.
Breathing
He also practiced helping me breathe and staying calm. This felt silly to practice. But it was so helpful for both of us to remember to stay calm during actual labor.
Massage
Finally, my personal favorite, the massage. The Bradley Method encourages your husband to give you a massage while you practice your breathing. (Natural Childbirth The Bradley Way, p. 117) You may need this reference haha. During labor, back rubs can also be very helpful for relaxing. Chapter 12 of Natural Childbirth The Bradley Way gives tips on how to massage correctly. Our birth coach recommended nightly massages to practice (you’re welcome).
Go Husband Go
I want you to have the birth of your dreams! And I genuinely believe that educating and preparing your husband for birth will be a HUGE step in achieving it. Even if you only do a couple things from this list. Or honestly just one. I’m confident you’ll both be glad you did!
I LOVED having my husband be a part of our son’s birth. When my labor first started, my contractions were really far apart. However Nick was very attentive and started offering me all the things. I told him I was actually tying to pretend labor wasn’t happening as long as possible. So he was dismissed until further notice lol. But when I was ready for help, he was on it. He encouraged me, brought me water, timed my contractions, and was our spokesperson in the hospital. It was amazing. He could’ve written this blog lol.
I hope this makes you even MORE excited for your birth! Let me know all of your thoughts about husbands and birth in the comments. I’d love to hear what you loved (or didn’t love) that your husband did to support you in your birth! Thanks for stopping in. To read more about ways to prepare for birth, click here!
Works Cited
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon
