Doulas are “trending now.” Everyone is talking about them. You’re only truly “prepared” for birth if you hire a doula, or so it seems. Because of all the hype, it felt like not having a doula meant I was setting myself up for failure. That I couldn’t have the natural birth I wanted (which obviously isn’t true). I had to find out for myself. So, I did a lot of research on all things doula and I’m here to give you all the tea.
What is a Doula?
According to the Doula Training website, a doula is “a professional who provides physical support, emotional support, and counseling to families through all stages of pregnancy, labor, childbirth, and the postpartum period.” (Doula Training Website) I’ve also heard a doula described as being there to advocate and support the mother, while the Doctor or midwife is more focused on the baby. “There are no state or federal regulations for doulas because they provide non-medical services” according to the doula training website. (Doula Training Website) However, many do have certifications and training.
Why do you want to hire a Doula?
Hiring a doula is a very personal decision. Some people want to know the person that will be supporting them! Others would feel awkward or uncomfortable having their mom or a friend as their doula. Ultimately a doula should make you feel at ease. Hiring (paying) a doula ensures they have likely done some sort of training/certification and will be professional and experienced. If this is what makes you at ease, by all means hire a doula! If you will feel more at ease with your husband and/or a friend or family member, do that. The more comfortable you are, the more likely your body will relax and allow labor to progress, and that’s the goal!
I wanted to hire a doula because in my head, it would give me the natural birth I wanted. My midwife had a couple of concerns about my anatomy – small pelvis, low back pain, and overall tightness, which could result in complications. So I worried about the baby not fitting through my pelvis. Would back labor/pain be too much to bear. What if the baby is in the wrong position (sunnyside up, sideways, etc)? A doula would be my magical fix, I thought (silly me). I wanted to take all measures to have a natural birth. So, if people were saying I needed a doula for that, I was interested.
Who should I hire as my Doula?
It’s a big deal who you hire as your doula because they will be a part of the most (or at least one of the most) intimate, vulnerable experiences of your life. Doulas have all different levels of training and all different styles. Decide what’s important to you in a support person and interview however many people it takes to find a doula you love. Remember, they’re working for you!
I interviewed 6 different doulas. I originally wanted a doula who was trained in “spinning babies” and who could help me reposition the baby if necessary. In addition to the trained doula, I wanted to have my mom and my husband (Nick) at my birth for support. My mom is a nurse and is actually more medically trained than most doulas. I jokingly told her I would pay for her to take a doula certification class and just have her be my doula. When she looked into it she found that doulas actually aren’t able to make any medical decisions or take any medical action, they are strictly there for support. When I thought about it like that, I decided I would much rather have my support person be someone I know rather than someone I don’t.
My Doula
So, I “‘hired” my mom as my doula. I gave her my birth plan, she read a couple books on natural labor/birth (because this is what I wanted), and we talked about the atmosphere and dynamics I wanted for labor and birth. It was so fun to talk about and such a good bonding experience for us.
I already feel comfortable around my mom, so when we called her over for support I didn’t feel uncomfortable or like I had to perform for her. It was really nice for her and Nick to communicate about what to do next/how to help me while I was in labor. I trusted and valued her input (so did Nick) because she had given birth before, so had an idea of what I was experiencing. It was also so cool for her to be at the birth of her obviously favorite (jkjk) grandson, Miles. She was also FREE, which was a huge blessing.
Pros and Cons of hiring a Doula
Here’s a little list of pros and cons to hiring (aka paying) a doula here:
Pros
+Having an extra support person who is focused on you and your needs
+Calming presence (hopefully)
+Advocate for you and your birth plan
+Experienced – can suggest different labor positions to help labor progress
+Ability to take turns with your husband to offer counter pressure, snacks, etc
+Don’t know them so you never have to see them again if you are embarrassed about them seeing you push out a baby lol
Cons
-Expensive
-Make you feel pressure or uncomfortable, ultimately slowing labor down
-Don’t know them so may feel uncomfortable around them
-May not make it in time to your birth
-They are being paid to help you so may not be invested in you as a person
-May push your husband out of the way
My Thoughts
Now, to make my point. Having a doula (a support person) at your birth is extremely helpful and comforting. I loved having my mom at my birth and she genuinely made the process smoother for me and for Nick. I also do agree that hiring a “professional” doula can be very helpful (if they make it to the birth on time and you feel comfortable with them).
However, I do think all the hype around hiring a certified doula (that charges almost as much as the birth itself) may be a little overrated. Quite a few people that I know have hired doulas either didn’t make it to their birth or only added stress to their labor. And they really can’t medically offer advice or support. The nurses and Doctors/midwives are there for that. It feels like another way to con us into spending money (because for some reason we will spend all our money on our babies).
Your Thoughts
I just really want you to do what you feel comfortable with and not to feel pressure that you can’t have the birth you want if you don’t hire a professional doula. Because you can. You can have your husband be your support person. You can have your mom or sister or close friend be your support person. Or you totally can hire a support person! Just do it because you genuinely want to, not because you feel pressure to. You were literally built for birth, a doula isn’t going to change that – you’ve got this.
I would love to hear your thoughts! Did you have a doula for your birth experience and was she helpful? What other questions do you have about hiring a doula? Give me all your feedback in the comments below! If you want to hear my full birth story (it’s juicy), click here!
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