How do I explain being a mother to someone who has never been one? Words truly can’t express. The love, the joy, the vulnerability, the inadequacy, the wonder. It is my most proud title, the most sacred experience, my greatest honor. Before becoming a mother I read books, talked with other moms, listened to podcasts. But nothing truly prepares you for motherhood. You just have to experience it. My eyes have been opened to my many shortcomings, but I am a better person because of it. Motherhood has given me a tangible teeny tiny example of the love Jesus has for you and me and you guys, it’s HUGE. Way bigger than I thought. Since Miles is officially one (which means I have been a mom for one whole year), I want to share five (of the million) things I’ve learned in my first year of motherhood. Okay here we go.
1. Your Journey is Unique
No one else will have the same motherhood experience that you have. Everyone has their own opinions and their own way of doing things but you have to do what’s right for YOU and YOUR baby. What works for someone else might not work for you! There are so many resources and opinions with the books and the podcasts and the motherly advice, which I was so thankful for – some of it I couldn’t have survived without! But some of it didn’t work at all for me. No one else has been a mother to your baby. God has given YOU everything you need to be YOUR baby’s mom. Lean in to Him and trust your gut, you’ve got this.
2. Slow Down
I’m a getterdone kind of girl, be productive, do as many things in as little time as possible. Premotherhood I would pack my schedule back to back with no wiggle room (not even for traffic). But you guys. A baby does not care one bit about your timeline. Not even one. When they’re hungry, they need food. Immediately. When their diaper is dirty, they will not let you sleep until it’s clean. When they’re tired, you must help them sleep. Especially in the first couple of months, these needs come every 1-2 hours. But you never know exactly when. So you have to plan wiggle room. When I started making plans or going on little outings, they took WAY longer than I expected. Loading the car alone is a 10 minute workout haha. I still love a good back to back schedule, just less rigid, more flexible. This is definitely something I am still fully implementing. Sometimes I still try to do too much. But I’m learning.
3. Don’t Compare
My sister and I had our babies 4 days apart (I know right, so fun), but our motherhood journey’s are so different! Her baby had her first tooth first, my baby laughed first, her baby sat up first, my baby crawled first. I am constantly reminding myself it’s not a competition. Your baby will crawl, they will walk, they will talk, but it might not be at your (or anyone else’s) timeline. And that’s OKAY. Comparison is a stealer of joy and who cares what everyone else is doing anyways?! (I admit, I do sometimes). But it’s not about them, it’s your life, your baby, your decision.
4. Find the Root (of the tears, the problem, the action)
A crying baby can be so stressful. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and stressed by their tears. I found it very helpful to take a deep breath and go through a (mental) checklist of why my baby could be crying – tired, hungry, diaper, gas, cold, wants to be held, etc. Nine times out of ten once I made it through the list I could get the crying to stop. Me getting upset or stressing about it never helped anything. As Miles is getting older, sometimes he does things that I want to (and sometimes do) react to. Often, he is just wanting my attention, or trying to help. i.e. he stands in his high chair when he wants more food or is all done. When I understand why he’s doing something, it often changes the way I respond to him (for the better).
5. Cherish Every Moment
They are precious. And time goes by SO fast. Sleep will come, your scars will heal, your nipples will toughen (nipple butter, baby). It will get better! Click here to read my post on all the postpartum products I loved to make the journey a little smoother. In the meantime, savor the precious newborn snuggles, the frequent nursing sessions, the contact naps. It seems hard in the moment, but if you blink they’ll be 18. How is my baby one!? I’d already give anything to go back to the sweet newborn time, it was a little perfect bubble. I just don’t want to miss anything. I want to be fully present, fully available, and to experience him to the full.
Final Thoughts
I’ve only scratched the surface of the millions of things I’ve learned in my first year of motherhood. And I will forever be learning. (Sounds like job security to me). I feel like just when I’m feeling confident about the schedule or our routine, Miles grows and changes and I have to adapt and grow too. It’s about the journey, not the destination (I cringe because of the cheese, but it’s true). You will never fully arrive as the perfect, all knowing, mother queen. You just have to show up, be present, do your best. And pray. A lot. You’ve got this. I hope these five things encourage you and help you feel more confident in the amazing mom you are (or will be)! Let me know in the comments what YOU have learned on your motherhood journey!
(By clicking the links and making a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you.)
